A soggy start to the UK election will likely have a ‘stormy’ ending for the Conservative Party.
“Haven’t you forgotten something?”
“Let me introduce you to my secret election weapon – the election protection device – it can even stop rain!”
Election and UK politics
It started off soggy and now it’s just… wet!
“Plenty of potholes, poo, party politics and politicians but where are the policies to fix the real issues?”
‘Just a load of… p’s!’
Probably just unachievable pledges and false ‘election’ promises in the manifesto… again!
Election UK style. “Take me to your leader.” “Err… we don’t have one!”
Election UK style. “Take me to your leader.” “Err… we don’t have one!”
Election UK style – “New rules please!”
Conservative Party HQ – “I have a plan!”
How about if we sell ‘slogan’ advertising space on the lectern. ‘I Have a plan‘ and ‘Change‘ spring to mind. A plan to do what and a change to what… exactly?
“My new best friend… what makes you think I work from home?”
“My new best friend… what makes you think I work from home?”
Election selection UK style. “That’s my umbrella, give it back!” – ” No it’s not, it’s mine – besides, you don’t even know how to use it!”
UK election defence device to help stop you getting… ‘drowned out’.
Museum of Conservative Party artifacts
“Look at this… the actual umbrella Rishi Sunak didn’t use during the UK 2024 election announcement!”
“Even the stamps are made in China!”
BOGOFF! Buy one get one free offer!
What further depths of despair will the Post Office will sink to – fining people for unknowingly using fake stamps.
“Every vote counts – even the green one!”
Make-shift polling station
Bakery fakery!
“Do you ever get that sinking feeling?”
Vote for me. UK election date set: 4th July 2024
“What kind of wizardry is this – I just want a simple white loaf please!”
Science making a white bread taste like brown…
Hybrid ‘Hybread’ Bakery, where a white loaf tastes like wholegrain.
Why not just waste even more time on nonsense science… what’s the point?
“This new water supply is amazing – it even comes with poo mixed in!”
Water now supplied with fertilizer in the supply.
Soooooo good for the garden – but not so good for you!
“Can you explain democracy to me again please?”
“Can you explain democracy to me again please?”
“Do as I say, not as I do!”
“Do as I say, not as I do!”
“You’re fired!” – “But I haven’t got YOUR job yet”.
‘Hair Force One!’
Trump Enterprises
SPLASH DOWN! ‘Oops – that didn’t go so well again, but it got a little bit further this time!’
MOD missile test flops as £17 million weapon plops into sea
The Trident missile test is a routine exercise of the UK’s nuclear deterrent, which involves firing an unarmed missile from a submarine into the Atlantic Ocean
However, the latest test failed when the missile’s booster rockets didn’t function correctly and plopped into the sea near the launch site.
This is the second time in a row that a Trident missile test has failed, raising concerns over the reliability and safety of the UK’s nuclear weapons system. The defence secretary and the head of the navy were on board the submarine HMS Vanguard when the test went wrong.
Deterrent remains a safe option…?
The Ministry of Defence said the nuclear deterrent remains ‘safe, secure and effective’ and that the issue was specific to the test and would not affect a real launch. So that’s reassuring to hear then.
However, some critics have called for an inquiry into the incident and questioned the need for spending billions of pounds on renewing the Trident programme.
This is highly embarrassing for both the UK and the U.S. and for the manufacturer of the Trident missile.
‘There’s nothing wrong with my memory. Now, what was it you wanted me to say?’
A politician at a lectern
Labour Party UK HQ. ‘Does anyone have any new policy ideas?’
‘Congratulations, as you’re the only one able to spell ‘gover ‘n’ ment’ correctly – you’ve got the job. Would you like education or something a little less taxing like… the treasury?’
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THE DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT JOB DISTRIBUTION AND OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT
‘What do you mean… I have the right to remain silent?’
Election year 2024 – vote for me!
‘What on EARTH is that smell – was it you?’ ‘No, it’s just the smell of space.’
Space smells – fact or fiction?
It’s true, space has a smell. Space is a vacuum, so no one can smell it directly. But astronauts can smell the things that have been in space, such as their suits or tools.
They report that space smells like hot metal, diesel fumes, barbecue, or burning hydrocarbons. These smells are believed to be caused by the by-products of dying stars, such as hydrocarbons.
‘No! Wait… You don’t understand what I mean!’
Put Earth first!
‘Haven’t you heard the news?’ – ‘Inflation is falling.’
Inflation is falling and getting closer to the 2% target
