Water now supplied with fertilizer in the supply.
Soooooo good for the garden – but not so good for you!
“This new water supply is amazing – it even comes with poo mixed in!”
“Can you explain democracy to me again please?”
“Can you explain democracy to me again please?”
“Do as I say, not as I do!”
“Do as I say, not as I do!”
“You’re fired!” – “But I haven’t got YOUR job yet”.
‘Hair Force One!’
Trump Enterprises
SPLASH DOWN! ‘Oops – that didn’t go so well again, but it got a little bit further this time!’
MOD missile test flops as £17 million weapon plops into sea
The Trident missile test is a routine exercise of the UK’s nuclear deterrent, which involves firing an unarmed missile from a submarine into the Atlantic Ocean
However, the latest test failed when the missile’s booster rockets didn’t function correctly and plopped into the sea near the launch site.
This is the second time in a row that a Trident missile test has failed, raising concerns over the reliability and safety of the UK’s nuclear weapons system. The defence secretary and the head of the navy were on board the submarine HMS Vanguard when the test went wrong.
Deterrent remains a safe option…?
The Ministry of Defence said the nuclear deterrent remains ‘safe, secure and effective’ and that the issue was specific to the test and would not affect a real launch. So that’s reassuring to hear then.
However, some critics have called for an inquiry into the incident and questioned the need for spending billions of pounds on renewing the Trident programme.
This is highly embarrassing for both the UK and the U.S. and for the manufacturer of the Trident missile.
‘There’s nothing wrong with my memory. Now, what was it you wanted me to say?’
A politician at a lectern
Labour Party UK HQ. ‘Does anyone have any new policy ideas?’
‘Congratulations, as you’re the only one able to spell ‘gover ‘n’ ment’ correctly – you’ve got the job. Would you like education or something a little less taxing like… the treasury?’
.
THE DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT JOB DISTRIBUTION AND OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT
‘What do you mean… I have the right to remain silent?’
Election year 2024 – vote for me!
‘What on EARTH is that smell – was it you?’ ‘No, it’s just the smell of space.’
Space smells – fact or fiction?
It’s true, space has a smell. Space is a vacuum, so no one can smell it directly. But astronauts can smell the things that have been in space, such as their suits or tools.
They report that space smells like hot metal, diesel fumes, barbecue, or burning hydrocarbons. These smells are believed to be caused by the by-products of dying stars, such as hydrocarbons.
‘No! Wait… You don’t understand what I mean!’
Put Earth first!
‘Haven’t you heard the news?’ – ‘Inflation is falling.’
Inflation is falling and getting closer to the 2% target
‘Did it work?’ – ‘No, I still have that urge to vote Conservative.’
The election is coming soon, and to a town near you…
Tax cuts are coming, it must be election time again
Spinning the benefits of a tax cut scenario as Chancellor Jeremy Hunt hints at further tax cuts
The Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt, has given strong hints that he wants to cut taxes in the spring Budget.
Mr Hunt reportedly said that countries with lower taxes have more ‘dynamic, faster growing economies.‘ Didn’t Liz Truss say something like that too? But of course, she didn’t ‘cost it out’ in her mini budget apparently – but she also wanted lower taxes for growth none-the-less.
Autumn statement
In the Autumn Statement, the chancellor reduced national insurance for workers by 2% and announced tax relief for businesses. If inflation falls, followed by lower interest rates, Mr Hunt may consider he has scope for further tax cuts.
At the World Economic Forum, in Davos, Switzerland – he was also reported to have said that the: ‘direction of travel’ indicates that economies growing faster than the UK, in North America and Asia tend to have lower taxes. ‘I believe fundamentally that low-tax economies are more dynamic, more competitive and generate more money for public services like the NHS,’ he reportedly said.
It is widely expected that the chancellor will focus on income tax in the upcoming Budget due on 6th March 2024
Lower than expected government borrowing last month has increased the possibility of tax cuts in the Budget, analysts say.
UK Borrowing fell to £7.8bn in December 2023, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) indicated. Interest payments dropped sharply due to a faster than expected decline in inflation. Analysts said the latest figures could give the chancellor more wiggle room for tax cuts.
December’s borrowing figure was £8.4bn less than a year earlier, and the lowest figure for the month since 2019.
Interest payments on government debt fell to £4bn, down by £14.1bn from December 2022.
To infinity and… the moon. ‘I see you’re back again… try and keep it tidy this time, and please recycle after your visit!’ Thank you.
‘Don’t for one minute think you’re staying, especially after the mess you left last time!’
To the moon and back.
Party politics and petty petulance, an average day at No. 10 Downing Street
Welcome politics at No. 10 Downing street
The phrase ‘throwing your toys out of the pram’ is a British idiom that means to behave in a childish or immature way when you are angry or frustrated. It is usually used to criticize someone who is acting unreasonably or making a fuss over something trivial.
Right now, it sums up everyday behaviour at No. 10 Downing Street.
‘I hear turkey stock performs well this time of year’.
This time of year, in December as it gets colder outside, the stock markets begin to warm-up.
‘Prime Minister, you may wish to read my resignation letter before sacking me.’ ‘Was it something I said?’
Ex-NatWest boss loses out on £7.6 million pay deal after Farage fiasco
Dame Alison Rose, the former chief executive of NatWest Group, will lose out on £7.6m after she admitted to discussing the closure of Nigel Farage’s bank account with a BBC journalist.
Another word for getting the sack?
She ‘resigned’ from the banking group in July 2023, after the former Ukip leader complained about a BBC report that claimed his accounts with Coutts, a private bank owned by NatWest, were closed for commercial reasons.
Apology
The BBC later apologised and amended its story, saying that it had checked with a senior source, whom Dame Alison later confirmed was herself, that Mr Farage’s accounts were closed because he fell below Coutts’s wealth threshold.
The Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) initially suggested that Dame Alison had breached data privacy laws by confirming Mr Farage’s banking arrangements, but later issued a formal apology, saying it was ‘incorrect’ and that it had not investigated her.
Pay deal of £2.4 million
Dame Alison will receive her £2.4 million fixed pay package but will not benefit from share awards and bonuses she had previously been entitled to.
Her saga reportedly wiped £850m off the value of NatWest Group. The long-term damage to the bank and banking sector likely hasn’t been fully realised yet.
It’s about trust and privacy, isn’t it?
‘What do you call a smart TV that can’t connect to the internet?’… ‘SMART!’
‘Unfair fare!’ ‘I don’t want to buy the train; I just want a ticket!’
‘I think we may have taken this ‘simplifying’ life thing a bit too far!’ ‘What do you think?’
‘The voice control system on mine is terrible, what’s yours like?’
‘UK government lectern advertising space now available!’
‘Is this the HS2 ticket office? – ‘Does this train go north?’ – ‘No, but we have a very expensive special ticket that will take you round in circles!’
